Hello! Welcome to the Personality Test Centre!
My name is Muffina! I’m the test instructor here.
So you’re curious to assess what your personality type is, huh?
You’re kinda cute... but looks can be so deceiving these days!
Shall we find out more about you?
Answer each question by picking an answer from its list of choices.
Are you ready?
Question 1 of 14
You see an altercation going on between two people, and one of them starts to get violent. What do you do?
Find a nice spot to watch the whole thing unfold.
Get up close to listen in on what the whole situation is about, then give them your verdict of judgement.
Mete out violent corporeal punishment to the aggressor without hesitation.
Cower in a hidden corner while watching the abuse. You hate yourself for your inaction to stop it. Maybe you’ll go talk to the hurt party later. Perhaps it’ll blossom into a friendship.
Take your smartphone out and start recording. You get excited at the amount of shares and comments you’re going to get later on social media.
Question 2 of 14
At a social event, how do you go about socializing?
You just want to be left alone in a corner, yet hoping that someone will sense your ambivalent wanting and then come up to engage you.
Enthusiastically introduce yourself to everyone as being the life of the party, ignoring the party-poopers who give you the “Do you mean life as in; Get a life?” eye roll look.
Grab a mic and let everyone know that you’ve finally arrived, high on drugs and ready to take the house down. When someone comes over to “restrain” you, you beat them up.
You really just go around with your suspicious spyglasses, taking sexually appealing footage with the hidden camera.
To forget about your sad life, you get yourself drunk and try to bring others aboard the pain wagon with you as well. Hopefully everyone gets horny.
Question 3 of 14
When required to work in a team with others, how do you perform?
Assert your authority as leader as quickly as possible. Anyone who shows defiance returns from lunch with a black eye.
Sow discord between other colleagues, and watch them go at each other’s throats while you touch yourself underneath the table.
You hate working with people because no one understands the way you work. Hell, you don’t even understand the way you work.
You recognize that everyone in the team, including yourself, is a self-serving parasite. But at least you’re self-loathing, so that makes you better than them.
You try to further divide people into smaller sub-teams according to the harmony of their star-signs.
Question 4 of 14
If you find out that a co-worker has been telling your boss about your inefficacy at work behind your back, what would you do?
Wait him/her out at the car park after work and beat them up with a crowbar where no one can see. Then you steal their wallet to make it look like a mugging.
Study your colleague’s work habits and lay plans for sabotage immediately. As a bonus, you mess up their personal life in whatever you can too. You don’t stop until they seek therapy.
Confront the person to say that you don’t appreciate the gesture. If he/she laughs at you, you threaten to make a formal complaint. Then you go home and cry.
You suck it up, and work even harder to prove your worth to your boss. In time, it will pay off.
Laugh it off, because it’s pathetic. In fact, you came to know about the shit-face rat from your Boss directly while the two of you were knocking back shots after work. In the world of ass licking and back stabbing, you’re way ahead of the game.
Question 5 of 14
Whenever you have a strong disagreement with someone, how do you deal with it?
Remind them of your superior intellect, then stick your tongue out with a funny face while covering your ears each time they start to talk.
Provoke them into hitting you, then tell them your sob life story after things settle down.
Instead of making valid points, use interpersonal attacks and insist that you are right based on other people’s criticisms of the person.
Break down and cry a little, then say you need a hug to continue the debate.
Attribute the reasons for your views with blame stemming from a bad past relationship, then threaten sexual harassment if you don’t get your way.
Question 6 of 14
What do you usually do when you see a friend in need of dire help, knowing that it’s well within your capabilities to give assistance?
Give help only if he/she is an attractive gender of your preference. And while doing so, try to get fresh with them with flirts and winks.
You tell them that they would not have been in this predicament in the first place had they only acknowledged your sagely advice earlier. You offer help and tell them that they owe you for life now.
You see no point in helping others out, because you think doing so will only make people dependent on each other. So you pretend to help, but secretly make things worse to help build their character.
You go all out to be a good friend, only to realize that they’re not really worth it. In fact, they’re only an acquaintance. You suspect that they laugh at you behind your back as well.
You tell them not to worry and that you’ll “take care of it.” When they come home the next day, you’re seated at their dining table with blood stains on your clothes. You tell them “it’s done” and ask if you can stay the night.
Question 7 of 14
When you see a cute guy or girl who’s your type, what goes through your mind?
That he/she will probably never be interested in you, and that you’re better off alone anyway. You hate the world, and vice versa.
That he/she is the definitely the one this time. You still believe in shit like that. You giggle at the prospect of all the delicious drama that will come with a roller-coaster relationship.
You’ll be willing to rescue him/her from this sad lonely world to be loved by you.
You stare into his/her eyes with the affection of a puppy looking at its master. You search for the galaxy in those eyes, but find only the abyss.
You ask him/her out for a date over at your place, so they can leave their scent on your furniture. After they leave, you sniff your couch like a dog.
Question 8 of 14
Someone whom you have secret romantic feelings for is getting very friendly with another person, how do you feel?
People in your way must be dealt with swiftly. You follow the person home. The next day, an unfortunate “accident” has happened to them.
You equate your feelings of jealousy to finding true love. You go on the offense, professing your feelings and stepping up your game.
Competition? Puh-lease. No one can compare to you. So you let them have their fun and maybe even progress a little before you come to take it all away.
You want to go out and buy yourself a sex doll to take it out on.
You decide to give up hope due to your own inadequacy. You go home and cry and listen to sad songs. Maybe you think about killing yourself.
Question 9 of 14
You’re stranded on an island with two other people, and a very limited food supply. What do you do?
You decide to adopt a nudist lifestyle on the island. Your companions are uncomfortable but you will persuade them to join you by bribing them with a share of your food.
You burn all the food to create a bonfire in the hope that it’d be noticed and help will come.
You steal some food and stash them away, then frame one other person for eating it. As a heated argument breaks out, you stab the one you accused. You later suggest cannibalism as an option.
You feel this is the perfect way for you to go; alone and starving on a deserted island. You give up the food and go off to find a good spot to die.
You immediately declare yourself to be the leader of your new tribe, delegating survival tasks to the other two even though you have no idea how to survive.
Question 10 of 14
If you could keep a pet, what would you like it to be?
Question 11 of 14
When you see a hipster on the street, what do you feel like doing?
Like telling him/her that their self-consciousness manifested is a glaring eyesore, and that you’d really like to punch them in the mouth.
Watch and wonder dreamily about what kind of underwear hipsters wear.
That you should probably become a hipster yourself. Because just like you, they’re all so lame.
Chat them up, and insist that they come with you to a party where you and your friends can all laugh at the stupid hipster that you brought for everyone’s entertainment.
Smile your brightest smile, sending out the love in your heart to the sad hipster in the hope that some kind of an interaction will occur.
Question 12 of 14
When away for a holiday, what do you usually plan or do?
Visit local destinations to soak in the culture. But a lot of times, you can’t stand the way locals do things, so you tend to create scenes by annoying other people with your loud and condescending behaviour.
Go to secluded places at night where you follow random people around and see what they’re up to.
Go to popular tourist attractions. But you feel empty inside. Travelling makes you feel even lonelier than you did back at home. People are the same everywhere. Then you start thinking that being abroad is a good place to die.
Check out the slums and pay homeless people to allow you take photos of them naked.
Go mingle in the clubs and bars, join a variety of local activity groups, or just sit at a café for hours. All in the hopes of meeting someone special. You’re stupid like that.
Question 13 of 14
You found a lost branded wallet on the street filled with $1000 and the owner’s phone number. What do you do with it?
You feel disgusted with branded goods. With the amount of money inside, it’s a sheer representation of evil excess coated in excess evil. You wished you could live like that. You keep the money and sell the wallet.
You call the owner to say that you’ve found the wallet but that you’re a very busy person whose time is just not worth spending another minute on the hassle of returning some wallet. You let them know that you’re just going to have to put it back where you found it, which you do.
You take the cash and ditch the wallet. But then you feel bad about it, so you decide to return the cash, but keep the wallet. When the owner asks you where the wallet is, you say you only found the cash.
You call the owner to say that you’ve found the wallet and ask how you may return it. But you keep making up excuses each time there is an arrangement. You want to delay the return because you think it’s cute.
You locate the address on the ID found in the wallet. You break in at night and leave the wallet by the bedside. You leave a note saying “You’re welcome.” Then you help yourself to a treat in the kitchen.
Question 14 of 14
You see a half glass of water. Do you perceive it as half full or half empty?
You don’t care. You just want to drink all the water in the glass.
You ask if the water in the glass is flavoured.
Doesn’t matter. You just want to break the glass.
You want to pee a little into the glass...
You see a bottle instead of a glass.
OK, we're done! Now let's see the results!
YOUR PERSONALITY TYPE IS ...
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